Does your aging parent still live in their home? Unless they’re really thriving, you’ve likely thought that at some point they’ll need to go into an assisted living facility or memory care unit. This is one of the most challenging and emotionally charged choices you’ll face, one potentially marked by feelings of guilt, uncertainty, and the weight of responsibility. That’s why it’s crucial to recognize that considering such a transition is an act of love and compassion, ensuring your parent receives the care and support they need in their later years. Once they require more care and assistance than you, or even full-time help at home can provide, you’re doing the right thing. 

Here are several factors that will play into your decision: 

1. Recognizing the Signs

The signs that your parent should no longer stay in their home will vary depending on their health, cognitive abilities, and overall well-being. So look for changes in their behavior, such as forgetfulness, difficulty with daily tasks, wandering, or increased agitation. Physical signs like unexplained bruises or weight loss may also indicate that they need more assistance. Also, recognize the signs in yourself. Have the demands of providing their care become overwhelming? If it’s too much to handle, it may be time to move them. 

2. Assessing Safety and Well-being

Is your parent still safe in their home? Consider factors such as their ability to navigate their living environment, manage medications, and attend to personal hygiene. Evaluate whether they are at risk of falls or accidents, and whether they have a support system in place if something happened. If their safety or quality of life is compromised, it may be time to explore alternative living arrangements.

3. Consulting with Healthcare Professionals

Seek guidance from healthcare professionals, such as your parent’s primary care physician or a geriatric specialist. They can provide valuable insights into your parent’s medical condition, cognitive functioning, and care needs. Additionally, they can offer recommendations for appropriate levels of care and help you navigate the complexities of the healthcare system.

4. Having Open and Honest Conversations

Engage in open and honest conversations with your parent about their current needs and future care preferences. These discussions may be difficult, but they are essential for ensuring that your parent’s wishes are respected and that they feel empowered in the decision-making process. It’s very common for someone in the early stages of dementia to resist even the discussion of a move, as it can make them fearful and insecure. Listen to their concerns, honor their emotions, while always reassuring them that your primary concern is their safety and well-being. It may take several talks over an extended period of time, so don’t delay too long in getting the discussion started. 

5. Touring Facilities and Gathering Information

Take the time to tour assisted living facilities and memory care units in your area. Pay attention to the cleanliness, safety features, and amenities offered by each facility. Speak with staff members and residents to get a sense of the culture and level of care provided. Gathering information and exploring your options will help you make an informed decision that aligns with your parent’s needs and preferences. In larger cities, you should find a variety of consultants who can help you find the right facility; quite often their services are free to you, as they’re paid by the facility. And don’t miss this MPGO post on the questions you must ask when interviewing an assisted living or memory care facility for your parent. 

6. Considering Caregiver Burnout

Recognize the toll that caregiving can take on your own physical and emotional well-being. Caregiver burnout is a real concern and can negatively impact your ability to provide quality care for your parent, while still maintaining your own life and relationships. Transitioning your parent to assisted living or memory care can provide you with much-needed relief and support, allowing you to recharge and focus on maintaining a healthy balance in your own life. Remember, you are not giving up your caregiver responsibilities; you are simply sharing them with a skilled professional facility and team. You are still in charge!

7. Trusting Your Instincts

Ultimately, trust your instincts and intuition when making the decision to transition your parent to assisted living or memory care. While it may be challenging, remember that you are acting out of love and concern for your parent’s well-being and safety. Trust that you are making the best choice possible given the circumstances, and seek support from friends, family, and healthcare professionals along the way.

YOU CAN DO THIS!